Page 32 - September 2020 Voices

PERSONAL NARRATIVES

The “Real” Story

Andrea Matthews, EH2

Andrea Matthews is an artist and an architect with an interest in comedy improv. She is
currently enjoying a personal sabbatical. Andrea joined Portlandia Toastmasters Club in
2017. During COVID, you will find her doing her best to make her friends and family laugh
through the power of the internet connection. This speech was inspired from a combination
of Phyllis Harmon’s “Find Your Story” presentation at TLI and Andrea’s first humorous
speech in the Engaging Humor Path. You can reach her at m.andrematthews@gmail.com

I rode the elevator to the 7th floor—my heart guitar playing, and the general
was beating in my chest. I got to the lobby feeling of freedom. At first it was

1 for the room, but then I had to go through a embarrassing playing so badly on
maze. By the time I finally figured out how to get the guitar in front of people. But
through the maze, I was late to the Toastmasters then I got used to people telling
meeting. I snuck in and sat in the back. Other me to shut up, and even kind
than a couple of people who gave me an evil of liked it. It took me going to a
look for being late, no one was paying too much Toastmasters meeting to realize
attention to me. But suddenly—in the middle of I could get used to insults. Living
the meeting—I was forced to stand up and say on the street in front of the Library, I occasionally
my name. I pronounced my own name wrong, see some of my friends I used to work with (even

so everyone laughed and pointed at me for 5 though they usually are working from home
straight minutes. I started to have a heart attack because of COVID or wildfire smoke). When
but somehow I managed to continue living. Then they pass me by, they mostly look the other way,
the meeting lasted for an extra hour beyond what because they’re ashamed to be associated with
had been published on the flyer at the entrance someone who would say their own name wrong.
to the Portland Building. I found my way back Or maybe they don’t recognize me because of
through the maze and made it to my office my N95 mask. Or maybe they just can’t see me

where I got fired for being late getting back to through all the wildfire smoke. I guess about
work. Then my roommates kicked me out for once a month I get a sad smile and eye contact.
not paying my Century Link bill on time. I had That was really all I ever wanted from them. I
to sell everything except my guitar, camping don’t really need a dollar as much as I need that
tent, and the clothes I was wearing. I missed eye contact from my old associates. It helps me
being downtown so I set myself up in front of to know that my graduate education did not go
the Multnomah County Central Library. I made completely to waste.
a lot of friends there and started a drug habit. I Okay, obviously none of that happened.
really enjoyed the drugs, the camaraderie, the

32 ONE COMMUNITY