Page 20 - October 2020 Voices
P. 20
FIELD NOTES
My Toastmasters Journey
Turning Panic into Peace
Kate Beck, PM1
The doors swung wide open. The opportunities community that did not feel welcoming, nor
in front of me burst in like a strong gust of wind aligned with my values, goals, or ethics. I
and threw open the doors of my career and attempted to communicate with my coworkers
shook it to the core of its foundation. The chance about diversity and inclusion so that we could
to take over my mother’s business, a contract be more accessible in assisting members of all
renegotiation at the firm, and a tantalizing mobilities, races, and genders, but they were
presidenial nomination were all waiting on my unreceptive. I yearned to be a part of a team
doorstep. where diversity was proudly represented which
The options presented to me were those that pursued a mission of inclusion. I wanted to be
I dreamed of receiving in my career. Yet when able to assist any individual I could, shedding
they finally came, I could not shake an aching light on the power of positivity and ethical
feeling in my stomach. So, I gently shut the doors guidance.
and turned them all away. While I was juggling these conflicting feelings,
Ripping off the bandaid of being comfortably I was nominated to be the president of Women
miserable in my career did not come easily. in Financial Services, a Board I’d proudly
The contract renegotiation at my former firm served on for several years. The nomination was
presented me with the potential to make more something I had dreamed of and yet this aching
income than I ever had before. Despite this, feeling in my stomach continued to rise up within
I was never happy as a member of a working me. I loved this Board, but I felt conflicted. My
support system was not stable, the balance of my
environment was off-kilter, and the timing did
not feel right. With my contract renegotiation
on the table and the nomination awaiting my
response, I was forced to look within myself
and ask “Why is my heart so heavy? Why am I
so unhappy?” In an agonizing decision, I turned
them both away.
Fortunately, shortly before closing the door
on these opportunities, I was introduced to the
community and framework of Toastmasters. A
20 ONE COMMUNITY
