Page 36 - voices-2021-08

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The Passive Dead

Ken Coomes, DTM

Zombies can help you improve your writing. The use of active voice strengthens the
Or Loki, God of Mischief, if you prefer. Let me sentence, and offers greater detail to the reader.
show you how. When you are delivering a speech, the active

If you’ve read (or even heard) anything about voice draws your audience in and keeps them
creative writing, you’ve almost certainly heard more engaged.
that good writing avoids “passive voice.” Roughly Don’t despair if you are guilty of using passive
99% of the time, according to USA Today best- voice. Here is an example from “Frankenstein,”

selling author Heather Marie Adkins, in her by Mary Shelley.
writing course “Amplify Your Craft.” So how
do you find passive voice in your own writing? PASSIVE: The poor woman was very vacillating.
That’s where zombies, or Loki, come into play. Perhaps the rules of grammar have evolved

But first, a little intro and some examples. since she wrote “Frankenstein.” Maybe we
Four words that give you a clue that you might understand them differently today. At any
be using passive voice include: is, are, was, were. rate, how might we make this an active voice
These words are fine, and often the best to use statement?

for whatever you are writing. But much of the
time they indicate passive voice, where the use ACTIVE: The poor woman vacillated between being
of active voice is better. Here is an example of attracted to the deranged scientist and being
passive voice. repulsed by his audaciousness.

Now, let’s harken back to the walking dead,
PASSIVE: Kara and Martha were the meanest and Loki, God of Mischief (newest offering in the
evaluators in our club. Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) by Disney+).
This sentence is fine grammatically, but it is How can the zombies from the Walking Dead

in passive voice. Have Kara and Martha learned help you identify passive voice? One way, most
how to deliver more encouraging evaluations, of the time, is by following the questionable
hence “were” the meanest evaluators and now sentence with the phrase “by zombies.” It’s not
are not? Have they left the club? How might we 100% effective, but let’s look at how this works.

make this sentence active? Questionable sentence: The ball was thrown.
Is this written in passive voice? If you’re not
ACTIVE: Kara and Martha delivered their evaluations sure, try “by zombies.”
with biting criticism and vitriol. Questionable sentence: The ball was thrown

36 ONE COMMUNITY