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Beyond “Good Job!”
Tips For Giving Meaningful Appreciation
(The Three Aspects of Feedback - Part I)
by Eric Winger, DTM
Too often, we 6. Be Patient—It’s really tempting to say,
give meaningless “Good job, but. . .” followed by a long list of
compliments to improvements. Tacking on coaching may
fellow Toastmasters, lessen the value of your appreciation even if it
co-workers, friends, and loved ones. It’s easier is insightful. Be patient and wait until the other
to say “Good job!” than stop to think about what person asks for your suggestions.
the other person did well. Yet, over time, these
seemingly innocuous phrases build up until our 7. Most Importantly. . .Be Sincere—Most
credibility is challenged. people have a finely tuned “bulls*!t” detector.
Here are seven ways to make your feedback Insincere compliments are easily spotted and
believable. they can hurt your credibility and the other
1. Be Specific—Shallow compliments are person. If you don’t mean it, don’t say it. Be
almost as useless as filler words. Saying “Good honest. And be kind.
job” to an employee means far less than saying
“You landed the Frazier account in record time.” Appreciation is more than just saying, “Good
Instead of giving a meaningless platitude, ask job!” A thoughtful person gives appreciation at
yourself what particular aspect of a person’s work the right time in the right way. They deliver it in
or effort you liked. Then tell them. a form that is valued and consider their words
2. Be Timely—A compliment delayed is carefully. Above all, they are honest.
a compliment not paid because the value of
appreciation diminishes with time. If your annual Don’t just tell the people in your life you
performance review is in December, odds are appreciate them. Let them know you mean it.
you won’t be talking about what happened the
previous January. Give your compliments as Eric Winger joined Toastmasters in 2009. He is
soon as possible. a member of Feedbackers and Silicon Forest where he
3. Be Thoughtful of Form1—Medium serves as VP Membership. He is a much sought after
matters. The form in which you deliver your workshop speaker and speech coach. During the school
appreciation makes a difference. The guy who year, Eric is a coach and mentor for the youth gavel
repaired your car may not appreciate a frilly club, Future Stars.
thank you card but Grandma would love a hand-
written letter of thanks for the pair of socks she 1From the book, Thanks for the Feedback by Douglas Stone and
knitted you last Christmas. Consider what form Sheila Heen
your appreciation takes.
4. Be Aware of Perceived Value—How much Open Letter to Members of Area 91—
someone values your feedback depends on how
much they care about their project, their level “I am honored to be chosen as the Area Director.
of effort, and their respect for you. Try not to
brush off someone with an empty superlative The opportunity you have given me, to grow and learn,
when they really value your opinion.
5. Be Less Awesome—And speaking of is both edifying and humbling. I will strive to meet all
superlatives. . .Repeated use of words like
“awesome”, “amazing”, and “perfect” cheapen the expectations of the position.
your feedback and are a clue to the thoughtful-
ness of your opinion. The opportunity to connect and expand
communication from within a correctional institution
is exciting. There are many stereotypes and fallacies
associated with the incarcerated. My hope is that
through communication and education we can all
learn and grow, thereby enriching our lives.
As a member of the Audacious Orators, we are
all excited to meet you and observe you in action.
We anticipate learning much and enhancing our
Toastmaster’s experience as we expand yours.
Sincerely—Angela Kim, ACB, ALB
20 Volume 3 Issue 2 - AUGUST 2016
